Fledgling

While I am reading the novel Fledgling, I feel very depressed. From my point of view, loneliness seem to be the thesis of this story. Almost every character is lonely in some way, especially in the first half part of the book when the characters are introduced.

Shori, as the main character of the book, wakes up in a cave with no knowledge of almost everything. She even has no idea what she is. At those days in the cave, her actions are based on these living instincts, for example, like hunting for food and hiding from sun burn. Later Shori runs down the ruin and looks carefully for the familiar smells. What is she trying to do? I believe she is doing everything to try to get back her memory. She is trying to figure out something or someone that she can belong to. Shori does not want to be alone, or to be one of kind.

Theodora, one of Shori's symbionts, is a lonely lady since her husband's death. Even though she has house, child, and poetry to work on. She is still feel lonely and she even smells lonely. Theodora's daughter has grown up and does not need Theodora to help with everything, therefore, Theodora can not feel need for daughter. I feel that the reason Theodora wants to be with Shori is that she want to be needed, to be wanted.

Celia, Shori's new symbiont, desires to be needed. As Celia said, she lost her parents when she was young. ( I can not remember which parent did she lost, I think was the mother) Celia once tells Shori she feels to be needed only after meet Stefan. Celia wants to be with Ina because she does not want be left alone again. To me, that is the fear of loneliness and abandonce.


Preston, an Ina who has lived decades, also feel lonely. When he recalls one of his symbiont ( Jeol's mother), he seems so lonely to me. After all those years, he has lost many symbionts. How terrible it is to watch people that you care die? Since he cares about them, it will hurt much more when they die. Even after all these years, Preston still miss them. He tells Shori to try to protect symbionts while they watch out during the day. From this small detail, I can feel that Preston does not want to lose any of them. He wants to keep them with him so that he can have a family to belong to.

From all these examples, loneliness is one feeling that both Ina and symbionts shares. All of them want to be wanted and needed. Actually, anyone wants. I try to put myself into the position of each of them, and try to catch their feelings. It is awful. No matter the vampires or the Ina, they see to be cool since they can live forever. However, the forever life also means to lose anyone else that you care, you love, and you want. While, the death comes, vampires or Ina can do nothing to hold on people. The helpless feeling hurt too much. Also in their later lives, the memory of losing is another suffer for them.

After all, I enjoy the book. I may be too sensitive with the feeling things. I am just used to try to put myself into the story to understand it more.